Clown

In Akron, Ohio, a 70-year old woman named Jacqueline Cutright was robbed while pooping.  That's right ladies and gentlemen, pooping.  She was not sitting upon a public throne where any stranger could have taken advantage of our most vulnerable moment.  Nay, she was upon her own throne, within her own home.

It gets better.  Because as Jacqueline sat, minding her own business, a man wearing a clown mask bursts in the door!  Apparently he was demanding to know where all the drugs and money were.

The confused woman started laughing, saying, "Boy, did you break into the wrong house?"

Fuhreal guys, this clown-faced bandit broke into the wrong house, scrambled around, stole $28, some jewellery, and the woman's vehicle.  When trying to make his speedy getaway, he rolled the vehicle before even getting to the end of the street, was stopped by police, and just stood and confessed his story.

Some days, I really love humanity.

Good thing he made a run for it, she was about to do NINJA STUFF to him!