Butter Knife

A Hernia, according to the great Wikipedia, is

"the protrusion of an organ or the fascia of an organ through the wall of the cavity that normally contains it."

The most common treatment for a hernia is to push it closer to the muscle, so it can naturally re-attach and heal. This accomplished by stapling a synthetic mesh to the affected area, essentially compressing it within a net. It is quite a common ailment, caused by a wide variety of catalysts (heavy lifting, bad posture, or even lack of exercise to the point of muscular atrophy).

According to msnbc.com, a 63-year old man in California was rather dissatisfied with the medical profession, deciding to take the treatment of his hernia into his own hands. Naturally, he made the most logical decision: he grabbed a six-inch butter knife and stuck it up his butt.

Of course, in this proud, distinguished position is where authorities discovered the man. They approached him, sprawled out on his lawn chair, and politely asked him to remove the butter knife from his body. Apparently, he gladly cooperated. He was admitted into Los Angeles County USC Medical Center's psychiatric ward.

I love the human race. I really, truly do.