Party? He's there with Four Lokos. Dinner at a restaurant? Screw the menu, he's got Four Lokos. Out at a bar? No tab tonight, Dr. Lokonator's here! Dinner at your Grandma's house? You guessed it, Four Lokos. He even carries a CD with him which has a copy of a rap song referencing the drink on it.
Two nights ago I was privileged to experience a conversation with Dr. Lokonator himself. He explained to me that his deep affection for his Four Lokos was plagued with a heavy heart, for his ambrosia was soon to be outlawed. Intrigued by this new form of possible prohibition, I began my research.
Sure enough, our dear Dr. Lokonator was right. Last week, Michigan's liquor control commission banned Four Loko, amid recent reports of college students being hospitalized after consuming caffeinated alcoholic drinks. On the 18th of November, Washington state will be outlawing it as well. The rest of the nation is likely to soon jump on the ban-bandwagon.
Phusion Projects, manufacturer of Four Loko, released this statement:
"If the true concern (of the ban) was to preserve the public health, safety, and general welfare, this ban would also address caffeinated liquor products, which contain three to four times as much alcohol as our products," the statement said. "Instead, under this ban, these products will remain legal and accessible to the same subset of the population that chose not to consume our products responsibly, sold in stores where existing alcohol laws can continue to be ignored, and abused alongside the same types of alcohols and other illicit substances that contributed to the incident at Central Washington University earlier this year."
Image Courtesy of PhusionProjects.com